More than a decade, and this one is still giving me the same wound.
"Oh mau kawin ya? Tadi liat ada anjing lagi kawin, ternyata lagi musim kawin ya?"
My hands were literally shaking. My chest was burning.
Why is it still here?
I thought I had long forgotten about it, or at least it should have not given the same effect as I wounded in that moment? I need to see why. This is much bigger than that person's ugly mouthing.
I thought as I knew that she was a liar, she cheated on his then commited bf, she lied about being a vegan (many told me she ate KFCs—though I'm ok with she ate what she wanted), or that the fact she ended up sick which I really tried to forgive her and I pity her....I thought I had already forgot about it.
I need to know why. I think her appearance triggers the long-hidden wound I didn't realize I had. There were too many bigger problems happened and hurt me. Her ugly heart was, to me, considered only 2% hurting than of the wound someone else gave to me that time.
I guess I just need to do the shadow work again.
So, hello again, dinnah. The 22 yo version of me.
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