29.10.10

Muse Mantra



You don't fall in love every single day.

Remember how it feels like? It causes you sick, it makes you smile, it blows your mind untill you can't see the difference between what's real and what's illusory. The coolest consequence of being in love is I always become productive in doing almost everything, especially making artwork. I get too exited over anything so I could make some plans to buy things or to create something which are mostly left in my mind after sometimes, yet to be forgotten :D

But then again, I don't fall in love everyday. I got mood-swing, I got haters, I got deadline, I got no time to do what I wanted to do. I get stuck, had no idea, am sooo tired, and all of a sudden everything became so much lame and undesireable. So I need some dope, I need Muse. I need something pretty to adore to, like when you see some movie the title so long I couldn't remember it, starring Kat Dennings and you found out how cute she is in there making some silly face or anything else. Well that's it!! That is exactly the feeling I need.

It's Muse Mantra. Something surprisingly making you  feel alive or just giving you some new idea, even when you know something else is sickenning, you just feel a moment of...of.....a moment of...adoring. (It's so retarded I couldn't find the right word) but anyhoo...I love making this collage. You got no idea how long I can match every piece altogether like this. It's like I need 3 days to get the right feeling. You know what I mean, right? Riiight?

15.10.10

Out of Boredom


Out of boredom, what would you do?
Well, I never knew what will I do exactly, but I believe everything we made is somehow popped out of our head and suddenly it's there, your hands are like...magicly working without any doubt.

These four illustrations are made for a guy I don't even know his real name is and insists to introduce himself as Attakk47. I met him once at One Family One Brotherhood #6 as I put my zine there for exhibition and -my bad- I forgot to ask his name because as I can remember we only have a small chat there about zine or something.
I also have always forgot people's name :p

14.10.10

Hard at It


The first time I went to recording studio to make some demo with TAKExONExSTEP is one of the most exiting moment I could remember the whole life :D You know it's not only about 'making stuffs', it's the time when your friends came by, giggle around, helping with some sing-along thingy, try not to fall asleep when you know things were not running so good and you need to be ready anytime, more indomih, more coffee, more cigarette. Anything can happen.

I also recall the first time I started my own zine, when the exitement lasts for only a week and the rest was really tough; lay-outing, realizing that I need to fill more spaces and pages, digging all the magazine to get some cute things to cut and paste to, going to photocopy shop with my eyes sparkled *lol*, spreading out the copies to all friends for free, producing some stickers and then how I was grinning all the time when I got emails from many people who read my zine and finally get embarassed with my own writings when I read it once again after a while.... those good ol days, so funny :)

So this is it, it's all about the feeling when you experience everything for the first time, when you are willing to do anything and get busy at, hard at it. And I made this patch with all those feelings been lingered. I always want to giveaway things I made. I kept this patch for such a looong time untill I met this guy and had a super-unstopable chit chat. He's a real inspiring zine-maker and also inspires many people around with everything he made and done, so I thought....this patch had to go to him. So be :)

And oh, almost forgot. He traded this patch with one of his drawings, I have a mix feeling about the fairy he drew, I like it, yes I do, but....errm it's kinda scarying and so weird. But I really love that he gave it to me as a birthday gift. Thank you, you!

11.10.10

New People Around is So.... Okay

It's a weird thing when I know some people who were once strangers and now I feel really okay with them. You know, It's how they poke me with their little stories, how they tickle me with such passion on something I don't really knew before and I'm exited over a new things like that. I discover a new life from them, that there are so many things could happen to you and everyone around while me myself be fell up with some kind of journey, secretly. A journey of how I embrace them, how I love them, how I hate them and how I keep everything I feel all by myself. And all I know is....I'm really glad to have a chance to know those newly-around people to have fun with or sharing secret with or in love with or get pissed off by...you name it ;)

I made this super collage for this girl, namely mila who love the 5 letter word: c-a-m-l-et :D she's just THAT adorable!

8.10.10

Kupu-Kupu di Ujung Senja

Suatu sore, sehabis hujan. Kupu-kupu terbang rendah menghampiri bunga krisan. Terbangnya bingung tak sampai tujuan. Sebelah sayapnya menjejak lain haluan: Harapan. Sementara sayap lainnya bertahan dan melawan. Bukan pada sayap di sebelah kanan, tapi pada janji rahasia yang menggantung di awan.

Sore tersenyum pada kupu-kupu, ia merubah langit menjadi lembayung ungu, hanya teruntuk sang kupu-kupu menjadi indah diantara krisan dan sisa awan kelabu. Yang terbangnya oleng kian kemari, kikuk kaku. Dan Sore menyadari itu. Ia tiupkan angin sejuk pada terbangnya. Berharap kupu-kupu terbantu menyeimbangkannya. Namun gagal. Entah salah dimana, kupu-kupu malah tersangkut di dedaunan, menatap jauh ke atas sana pada sang bunga krisan. Berharap pada keajaiban. Sayap lainnya yang bebas tak mampu meminta, hanya mengepak enggan. Tak ada perintah baginya untuk terus, meski ingin terus melawan.

Bunga krisan mencari-cari, siapa gerangan yang memberati daunnya? Namun tatapnya terhenti tanpa mampu meneruskan, terlihat bunga krisan terindah di seberang. Sang Terindah tersenyum bersemu dalam langit lembayung ungu. Membalas tatapan dari sana, penuh kasih dan aura daya. Tak ada secuilpun kasih maya, karena mereka nyata adanya. Mereka saling mendekat dengan segala upaya. Tak ada yang mampu menghalangi cinta mereka. Semua menyambut suka cita, beringsut memberi jalan untuk cintanya. Tanpa kupu-kupu mengerti mengapa dedaunan semakin menghimpit sayap harapannya. Ia tak mampu keluar dari jerat. Daun-daun menahannya erat. Ia berpikir, mungkin ini cara Semesta menyatukannya dengan krisan idaman. Maka ia kembali menatap krisan, penuh asa. Meski sayap harapannya terjepit daun-daun kehampaan. Sesaat kupu-kupu merasa lelah, sesaat lain semangatnya tak teredam. Ia tak peduli sayap harapannya koyak oleh usahanya melepaskan diri dari jerat. Ditariknya sayap itu, sekuat tenaga. Apapun tak mungkin menghentikannya. Semakin koyak sayap itu, semakin lemah sang kupu-kupu habis daya. Begitu juga harapannya.

***

Sang krisan bertemu pujaannya, mereka tak terpisahkan dalam ujung senja, berjanji akan saling berjaga jika gelap malam menjelang, tak mampu angin dingin mengoyak rasa saling percaya, utuh dalam segenggam mimpi yang tak lekang waktu. Lalu Sore menguji mereka, dimintanya badai datang menghempas, gelegar petir menyilaukan mata, menggetarkan jiwa. Terus-menerus tanpa ampunan. Sampai dua krisan tak mampu bertahan, tautan kelopak-kelopak mereka mengendur, hanya tatap merindu yang tulus yang masih menyatukan mereka, hanya mimpi dalam genggaman yang membuat mereka percaya: selalu ada 'kita'.
Dan kupu-kupu melihat tatap itu, tanpa ia mengerti ada kehangatan menjalari sukmanya. Angin pun menghempasnya, membantunya terlepas dari jerat daun-daun hampa. Melesatkan harapnya bertemu krisan. Meski badai melemahkan terbangnya, ia tak peduli, kupu-kupu tetap berjuang terbang, hingga sampai ia pada kelopak krisan yang menggapai-gapai. Diajaknya krisan pergi, ditariknya kelopak itu sekuat tenaga. Krisan tak mengerti apa yang terjadi, namun sesaat lain ia paham, senyumnya menandakan tak ada lagi yang mungkin membuatnya bahagia selain ini. Dalam badai, kupu-kupu mengantarnya bertemu sang pujaan hati. Hingga akhirnya kelopak-kelopak mereka bertaut kembali. Kupu-kupu mengerti, kehangatan tadi adalah ketulusan yang menulari, tanpa pamrih, tanpa meminta arti. Hanya ada karena ada. Namun kupu-kupu lupa, betapa lemahnya ia, dan ia pun tak sadarkan diri, jatuh ke tanah bersama daun layu dan bunga lain yang tak mampu bertahan.
Badai pun berhenti dan senja berakhir sepi. Sang Sore berbisik pada matahari di ujung tepi, sebuah permintaan pada esok hari.

***

Tibalah waktu pagi. Kehangatan mentari menjawab doa pada kehidupan, pada embun, pada dua krisan yang bertaut, menghapus jiwa-jiwa yang sempit oleh kelam semalam. Tetes embun menyembuhkan luka pada sayap harapan si kupu-kupu, dan sayap di kirinya, sayap kenyataan, mengingatkannya untuk terus mengepak, meneruskan perjalanan. Kupu-kupu terbangun oleh hangatnya matahari sepenggalah, menangkap senyumnya, menangkap artinya: esok hari telah tiba untuknya. Perjalanan masih panjang, kesempatan menanti di tepian samudera waktu, hanya untuk mereka yang mencintai hidup dan kehidupan abadi. Dan bangkitlah si kupu-kupu, tersenyum pada embun, pada matahari, pada pagi, lalu pada dua krisan yang telah mengajarinya ketulusan. Kupu-kupu bersiap terbang lagi. Tak ada yang lebih baik dari sekarang. Bekas luka sayapnya yang telah lalu membuat ia kuat, mengingatkannya untuk mengepak seiring sayap di sebelahnya, seimbang dan saling memberi energi. Biar sisa daya membawanya berkelana, biar alam semesta mengarahkan takdirnya. Ia hanya punya sebuah cerita untuk disampaikan pada dunia: tentang cintanya yang tulus pada krisan hingga membuat hatinya penuh karenanya. Dan itu sudah cukup, untuknya menjadi hidup.

4.10.10

I Eat A Lot When I'm In Love

I feel I have never been this exited for a while making a collage. So much wasted time I could have been spared with when there is no work at office. So, one morning, I chat with this girl and she told me about how unprofessional she was not finishing some collage order, then..... I happenly came with this idea: I'll make one too! in order to accompany her making collage order :) So this is it. I made a cute octopus who suddenly fall in love, and I guess she must be veeeery hungry. I myself will very hungry when I'm in love ;p